I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
