Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
