I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
