Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
