I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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