How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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