Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
