Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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