her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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