The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
only you would photoshop your dick
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize