Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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