just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The beers last night were like the tears from god
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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