Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize