Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
