Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
