dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
