Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
