clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
