i don't plan on having that self control this summer
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
