dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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