it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
