So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
