i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
