I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
