Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
50% drunk capacity currently
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
