I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
