her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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