I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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