its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize