My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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