I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
