I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
