yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
