Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
