am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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