Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
