I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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