I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
