Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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