we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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