whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
