okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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