This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I could fuck to npr.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
