a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I love you.
Bad choice
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
