he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
