so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
