i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
