Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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