It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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