Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
