The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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