Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize