she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
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