He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
