Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
