I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
