I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize