is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
