would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize