Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
